That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize