I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
