The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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