It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
