new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
