Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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