Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
