sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
