Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
