No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
