i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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