escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize