btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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