There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
