the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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