I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
