we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
