Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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