Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i came on her dog
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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