Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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