you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
