We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
