Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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