So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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