so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
