So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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