I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
