What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
