if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
