Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
we should paint friendship bongs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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