Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm going to jail i love you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
