Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We got so high we made milksteak
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
