I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize