Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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