i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
