Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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