So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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