More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
