I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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