Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
