there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
