Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
