No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize