Just mADE A PArabola og urine
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
