Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
