herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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