Small penises have feelings too.
the day after is always just damage control
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
