what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
