Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
