she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
