this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize