What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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