now i know why i became what i already was.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
