if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
