I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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