i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
