she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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