The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize