I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
