ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize