Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
