I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
