Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
