Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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