ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His nipple licking is glorious
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