onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
