And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
