And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
