Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
