I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
