Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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