Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
