Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
